Turning Towards Your Spouse

In my Marriage and Family class this week, we have been studying the idea of turning towards your spouse. 

The idea has been weighing on my mind greatly as I’ve studied the readings this week. I’ve been thinking about what this means for my husband and I, how we do this in our relationship, and why we sometimes don’t do this.

My husband and I have different ways that we turn towards one another. I thrive off of verbal communication but can also be very introverted at times. My husband tends to rely more on physical affection. Sometimes it takes a while for us to verbally communicate when there is an issue, either between us or involving outside factors. It is during these times I have noticed, that most problems form. When we aren’t turning towards one another, we are turning away. We are quiet and monotone, or short and snappy with our conversation.

Turning towards one another prevents barriers, but it can be challenging to do sometimes. Sometimes we worry how the other person will react to the things we are going through- will they be helpful? Mad? Will they say something to make it worse? Sometimes we may just be unsure of how to communicate what we are thinking or feeling. And sometimes it might be easier to bottle things up and deal with it alone.

There are things we can do to prevent these reactions, to more openly and frequently turn towards one another. There’s two things that I personally have been working on. The first is reacting better when my husband is vulnerable or turning towards me and opening up. I want to react in a way that will positively reinforce him doing such. The second thing is trying harder to turn towards my husband with everything, instead of stirring on it alone and waiting till I am very upset to talk to him. In doing these things it is my hope that we will both be able to increase the frequency at which we turn to one another, and be more open and loving in our reactions.